It has been a week since I got my Dear Alex, Break Na Kami. Paano?! Love, Cathy book from Christ. I've been reading and interacting with this book and to tell you the truth, it changed me. It changed me big time! It made me turn to God and renew my relationship with Jesus Christ, my Savior. So here's how my 7-day journey with Alex Gonzaga went.
Day 1: Christ said that I should highlight and write on the book because it is mine. However, I didn't write on it because I know it will be borrowed. But of course, I answered and interacted with Alex! I just have them written on my journal, the keeper of everything! As I've started writing down my answers to Alex's questions, I had my clarity. It was like being in an interview wherein you have to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. So I somehow pinpointed the mistakes I had done.
Day 2: The making-it-clear-to-me moment! Though I already had my clarity, there's the follow-up of making things clearer for this day. Alex really knows that we, women are stubborn so she made an emphasis on listening to the "woman's instinct". If we already feel that it's not right since from the beginning, then we should stop right then and there before things become a total mess.
Day 3: The untog moment! And this has become my favorite page. Why? This was when I realized that over is really OVER! This is my reprimand page because I've been so hard-headed for the past month. Alcohol upon alcohol, bar after bar, fly here from there, curses upon curses! These were all I did because I couldn't accept reality. And with this page, I came to my senses again. It's a gentle slap on my face to wake up from my stupidity.
Day 4: The checking-where-you-are moment. I'm glad that I'm not the only one going through what I had gone through. It's nice to know that I have "labels". It's just like cancer that has stages but with this, stage 4 is not leading to death. Stage 4 is actually leading to things anew!
Day 5: The step-by-step-process moment. After releasing my anger to the world, after staying in my room for weeks, after dwelling within myself, I got tired. It's exhausting to be angry. It's exhausting to rant. It's exhausting to be sad. So I learned to accept. Accept that over was really over. Accept reality. Then I decided to go along with the journey in letting go and moving on.
Day 6: The moving-on moment. Yey! I've come to this stage already!!! As a person who doesn't have the ability to move on easily, it really IS not easy. Imagine that?! I only loved once but still failed and it took me five whole years to move on! So I'm really overdue. I always said that I should move on, move on, move on until finally, God gave me this opportunity to really MOVE ON!
Day 7: The building-up-myself moment. Now I'm letting the sunshine in!!! After all the pain that I had gone through, I should recover myself. I must get back to myself. After loving him that much, I have to be reminded that I should also love myself. So with this, I adopted a new mantra from Beth Moore. With this great work of God in my life, I've come to re-declare my identity in Him!
The Final Words: I am now excited for the coming One!!! I know that something great is happening in my life now. I know that The One is coming really really soon! God allowed me to experience being lost in total pain because He's preparing me for something big to happen. T'was a hard and tough process, indeed and I know that it's nothing compared with what He has in store for me. But then again, the waiting is not yet over. At least this time, I know the reason why He kept me waiting for so long.
Thank you so much, Alex for this book! Thank you for being with me in this journey! As I look back, I never thought that I could recover. I never thought that I could smile again especially when you let me write the craziest thing I've done in the name of love. Your book was such a therapy to me!
So to all girls and ladies out there, being in love is a happy thing to be and being hurt because of love is also a happy thing. With that, you'll become a stronger and better person. We all undergo processes because God wants us to be His best. Just like flowers, we must be pressed to extract the fragrant oil. Just like grapes, we must be crushed to taste the rich wine. And just like coal, we must be squeezed at high pressure and temperature to form the precious diamond.
Now I thank God for everything I had gone through. Hard to accept at first but in time, I got to understand and started laying down everything at His hands. :) Now I am smiling again! :)
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