"As if I have a story to tell. Do I have the right to talk about love? I’ll just be laughed at. Because until now, I’m NBSB (see Home – My 12 Days of Christmas)! I’m the only one left for the love trip. All my friends had gone out and found their one true love already. Who could be mine?"
- Excerpt from Officially Love Month! (Feb. 1, 2012)
And after two years, my story is still the same..... Never been courted since birth, no boyfriend since birth, never been kissed, never been touched! Honestly, I admire my students who fall in love so easily and so fast. They have nothing to think about but their love life! They are so young, so carefree, so careless! They are never afraid to get hurt and never scare away to loose. But I thought to myself, I cannot do that. I cannot loose myself for someone else because I am such a selfie! I am too selfish to share my life with somebody else! Or is this only a front for me to still have my pride and console myself for being into this desperate state?
Well, if you have been following me, you've heard of my rants. If you have been reading me, you've already put pity on me. Although I have been using a mantra for years, boys aren't still lining up for me!
Then I cursed myself to oldmaidoom. I considered myself such a hopeless case not until, God revealed something to me. He gave me the answer to my long-time prayers and that is WAIT. With that, I'm assured that there is still hope for me. I got the peace of mind of Him taking in control. So all I had to do is to let go and let God. After that, I understood and decided to just LIVE HAPPILY WHILE WAITING.
Moreover, I realized that if "the one" hadn't come yet, might as well accept God's answer and better yet, enjoy the perks of being single! Because being single means.....
being pretty all the time,
doing things whatever you please,
wearing clothes without restrictions,
going to places wherever adventure calls,
and squandering money over luxe items!
So I came to think to myself that if I'm married now, I'd probably miss all the enjoyment that single life has to offer. Would I say no to that? I ain't got any responsibilities that tie me up like having a husband and kids. 'Coz I swear, I never wanted to become a desperate housewife! Then I realized, this has been the life that I've been wanting to have. Unconsciously, I had actually dreamed of having this kind of life! No hassles, no worries, no drama, no liabilities! I am living as I please!
So to quote my 2006 composition,
"Lastly, ladies are always threatened by the word "old maid". Nobody ever wants to be one! As a result of the society's prejudice, it became a mind set that being an old maid is a very unfortunate fate. It is as if it's a curse, an incurable disease, and a disgrace."
- Excerpt from Old Maid (July 10, 2006)
I still don't wanna be an old maid! Yeah, I know that I'm an old-maid-in-the-making but what can I do if I am? I don't need to feel the pressure of doing what everyone else does (and that is getting hitched) because I know to myself what is right for me. Additionally, I don't need to play with love just to "experience".
And as for the meantime I would say, "I may not have a love life, but I do have a lovely life!"
And with this I can sincerely say, "Thank you, Lord for the single life that I am truly enjoying the overstaying way!"
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