"Becoming a teacher was the least mental imagery I ever had in my entire being. I never wanted to become one because I never wanted to be like my old maid teacher aunt. She always complains about her job. She complains about her students, her paper works, her lesson plan, her principal, and everything! She always grumbles about her fate and tells us never to become like her."
- Excerpt from I Heart MUHS (Oct. 1, 2011)
But I did became like her! And like her, I also complain a lot, grumble more, and rant some more!
"After all the denials, I had accepted the more-than-fact/truth of me being a teacher. But for the longest time, here I go again doubting! Why on earth did I ever involve myself into this very dreadful fate that I had kept on running away from? God, I don't wanna regret forever in this decision that I had made. What should I do? Is it too late for a change? But I swear, I had done things to let me learn to love my rightful profession (From One Career To Another To Another). Or maybe I'm just paranoid with fear. I don't know. I really don't know...."
- Excerpt from Smart But Unwise (Aug. 20, 2012)
However, I had found meaning in this career path.
"Without our teamwork, Science Week would have not materialized. All activities were because of the kids, by the kids, and for the kids. It was a tremendous success for the whole school. And as for me as a faux science teacher, it was a great achievement! Nothing is impossible if you just have a willing heart. Thus, I became one of the nerds who learned to love science as my model students had. And this post is for them, my Besties in Science."
- Excerpt from Reminiscing Science Week (Nov. 15, 2011)
Despite the complaints, grumbles, and rants, I found fulfillment deep in my heart.
"Teaching for quiet sometime now had given me my ups and downs. It has been a roller coaster ride to me - being mad, being happy, being annoyed, being playful, and being exasperated with students! But as I go along the way in this career, there are also surprises which keep me going."
- Excerpt from When Their Success Becomes Also My Success (June 2, 2013)
But tonight I'm in doubt again. With more than half of the two sections that I'm presently handling right now having failing grades for midterm, the regrets creep in again.
"Maybe because I'm getting older that's why my patience is not that much as I had before.
Or maybe because of my boring subject that kids had already mindset-ly and honestly loathed.
Or maybe it is because of my negative attitude toward the kids that kept them from liking me.
Or maybe because I had promised not to be over-emotionally attached to my students anymore.
Can I still turn back the time when I was once called a Ma'amy, a Ma'ama, and a Ma'amsky?"
- Excerpt from Looking for a Reason to Stay (Jan. 29, 2013)
Then I'm starting to question myself again. Am I still eligible to become a teacher? So here I go browsing some old photos to remind myself and encourage myself to go on.
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| The First Rose I Ever Received as a Teacher Teachers' Day (Sept. 28, 2009, MUHS) |
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| First Set of Gifts Received Teachers' Day (Sept. 28, 2009, MUHS) |
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| First Set of Love Notes Received |
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| First Set of Presents Received from My Pharmacy Students First World Teachers' Day (Oct. 5, 2012, Medina College) |
Some IG photos of the pahabol presents for World Teachers' Day 2012:
Surely, gifts can't buy grades but these photos of such so-called "gifts" remind me of the beauty I had found in teaching. I admit, I cannot be a great teacher but I am doing all the best I can to become good. It just aches me to fail students, you know. So I will just credit their failing grades to the subject which is of course, the dreadful Physics!
Happy Catholic Teachers' Day to all my colleagues! :)
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| Program at the Arts Center |
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| Lunch at MatSci Department |
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| Purchasing Lasallian Items at the Bookstore |
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