A Love Story on a Love Month

"Although God had told me to be single, there is still this hope within me for Him to change His mind.  Could God change His mind?  Has there any written instance that He did?  If you ever know one, can you please pm me?" 

- Excerpt from On Waiting..... (Dec. 29, 2013)  

Fast forward 2016 and I got the answer to my questions last Saturday, February 20.  On a love month, God gives me the love story of a promise to hold on to.  Oh, how sweet my God is!  He's stirring up something inside of me, the matter of my heart that I had shoved away for already a year.  So I now have a hugot post this last day of February for I already thought I couldn't have one.  This could have broken my tradition of posting melodramatic stories of my "love" travails as I always do every love month.  But good thing God has me in His remembrance by giving me the answer to my questions!

Could God change His mind?

Yes, God could change His mind!  Scripture has it that God is an unchangeable God ("For I am the Lord, I do not change." - Malachi 3:6) but He can and will change His mind!  

Has there any written instance that He did?

Plenty!  First is Abraham's plea for Sodom and Gomorrah.  He reasoned in prayer for God not to destroy all of the two evil cities and to spare the righteous ones.  (Genesis 18:16-33)  That's why Lot and his family were saved from the catastrophe because God remembered Abraham's beseeching for the righteous people. (Genesis 19:29)

Second is Moses' plea for the people God brought up out of Egypt.  God was so angry with his people because they had created a golden calf for them to worship.  In God's wrath, He said to Moses that He will wipe all his people away but Moses appealed and God relented with His plan.  (Exodus 32:1-14)

Third is Jonah's mission to Nineveh.  God commanded Jonah to warn the Ninevites of the punishment He will bring to the city.  Fortunately, the people of Nineveh turned away from their sins, repented, fasted, and prayed so God changed His mind and didn't destroy the city.  (Jonah 3:1-10)         

If you ever know one, can you please pm me?

And I got all these answers through FaithGateway's Devotionals Daily I made a subscription with a year ago.  The article is entitled "Why Keep Praying? God Changes His Mind" by Robert Morris which is an excerpt from his book, Why Keep Praying When You Don't See Results.  It was on a Saturday morning right after opening the store on my mobile phone when God talked to me about praying without ceasing.

Yes, I did pray for my situation yesterday, today, and forever as I may say.  I prayed, stopped praying, prayed again, stopped praying again, cycle!  But when I prayed before, I had it at the back of my mind that God won't answer my prayer.  I always thought that He's gonna make me into an old maid.  I ranted, I complained, and I blamed Him for all the misfortunes I had when it comes to my love life.  I rebelled, got bitter, and got hopeless!  Though He told me to wait, still I dejected.  Though I understood a bit, still I didn't accept what He wanted me to do.  

Then God revealed something for me to have a change of heart.  Step by step, from denial to anger to bargaining to depression, then back to denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, cycle again!  Sometimes I'll be okay with it but oftentimes I'm never okay!  I dreaded to reach the acceptance part.  Until everything in between, I said to myself not to yearn for things I cannot have and that's the time when I slowly accepted.  Accepted the will of God for my life.

So I also understood how to rejoice in the Lord (Philippians 4:4) and how to delight in Him (Psalm 37:4)!  I've memorized these verses for so long and even shared 'em to console friends but this is the only time that I'm living it.  I've learned the hardest way and I've come a very long way.  I am now embracing and maximizing my season!

Now I don't have to be the first to show interest to a guy.  I don't have to stand in front of a boy, asking him to love me.  And I don't have to "buy" a man just to make him mine.  All those unreplied text messages, seen chat messages, rejections, and unrequited love have come to nothing.  'Coz all I have to do is to wait for the Lord and to put my trust in Him (Isaiah 8:17)!  It may be written in my palm but God changes His mind!  As long as I keep praying and this time as I pray, I truly believe that God will give me the answer to my prayer in His perfect time (Ecclesiastes 3:11)!

And this is God's love story for me this love month.  A promise of giving me my heart's desire if I pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  So I press on praying because all the people around me have been praying for me so I join them in praying seriously for "the one" to finally come my way!  And this time as I pray, there is a change of heart.  I am now claiming the answer to my prayer without second thoughts.  Oh, God.  I just can't fathom Your thoughts and Your ways and I thank You for the divine intervention and for giving me the peace of heart!  And I am now very excited for the continuation of this love story, our love story for it's only You who can make me whole!

@chekakramer via IG

                     

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On Waiting..... 

Live While Waiting

A Desperate Call

Feb-Ibig:  Embracing the Single Journey

To the Single-Hearted this Valentine's Day

Closing Doors.....

Nostalgia

*In memory of Percival "My Kuya Bebong" Onod, one of my disciplers next to Ate Mydel "My-My" Bangcong and Kuya Rio "Taz" De Barras during my baby steps as a Christian when I was in third year high school.

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#12daysto32 Day -4: Matter of the Heart

Last year I promised not to be sentimental on my birthday for I'm already too old for that!  Last year I also promised that that would be my last birthday to celebrate alone.  But another year had passed and I am still "alone".  Quote and quote, you know what that means.  So for this year, I'm trying hard to be happy for me not to feel alone.  But regardless of the flash flood of birthday greetings, regardless of the abundance, regardless of the gifts received, and regardless of the people who love me, I still feel alone. 

Then my decision on not throwing a big party is quite good.  For when the lights are off and when the party's over, I will still realize that I am indeed alone.  And for tonight that the tides are already down and I have some downtime to reflect, I am sharing to you the matter of the heart.  But this is not a desperate-mode post.  I thought I might give you a disclaimer first for I already developed a habit on that.  On contrary, this is a post of keeping the faith and in tightening my belt on what really is to come. 

Again, I'm reminded of what God intends me to be.  Though there are still complaints and grumbles, I am still under process.  I can't say that I had accepted this fully.  It is still hard, you know.  Still pitiful as I can say.  But as of the moment, I am clinging to only one hope that spices up my life every now and then.  I don't know but God is just a joker god for allowing this to happen to me!  At least I have this to hold on to.  Though it might just be an illusion, at least I am having something to live for.

Well, the story still continues.  Who would've thought and who would've guessed?  The rest is still unwritten.....

Image from Pinterest

  Being able to wait is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say "I love you", but not everyone can wait and prove that it's true!

- Anonymous

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1,095th Day

Gotta hold on to this.....

.....because I know where I stand in your heart! <3

*Image from Pinterest.

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Still Hoping

In one way or another, we love. We long to love and be loved in return. Whether it be reciprocated or not, we still desire it, want it, and hope for it. Just as this poem is conveying:

                                                                      Still Hoping

Tears that I can't hide

Keep hurting me inside

I found you to be my guide

All I want is you by my side

Why can't I keep you?

All this feeling is true

I don't know what to do

'Coz everything turned blue

It's hard to set you free

Knowing that we're gonna be

Together forever you and me

I'm still hoping for you to see

I told myself to let go

But I just can't do

Can't you see that I've fallen for you

I'm waiting for you to say you're feeling the same way, too

I'm still hoping

I'm gonna give my every being

For me to hear what you're feeling

Just bear in mind that I'm still hoping

- Mary Rosalie T. Olandesca (December 7, 1998 11:30 PM)

Yeah, right! This is another composition of mine - another desperate move to my "loving" attempt. The tone of the poem clearly says that it's a sad love story. So now, let me continue narrating to you my first love travail.

As I've said, I hated him when we were in second year high school. I hated him so much that just with the smell of his perfume, my blood boils! I didn't know what made me hate him so, to the fact that he had not done me anything wrong. In truth, he was so friendly and so kind to me despite my rudeness to him. He borrowed notebooks from me politely but I didn't hand them to him. Instead, I threw them at him. He asked me questions gently but I didn't answer him. Instead, I shouted at him. He was as meek as a dove and never did he fought me back.

On that night of pictures of him on my mind, I realized something. I realized that it's payback time. This is what we call as "karma". Wikipedia defines karma as the concept of "action" or "deed", understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect in Indian religion. In my own understanding, it's a consequence / retaliation / vengeance / an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. This is what I earned from being bad.

The following day, I went to school with nothing on my mind but him. Mental telepathy as we have it, he was the very first person I saw at our school's gate! He smiled at me and greeted me but I was so startled. I stood there speechless for a while and I didn't know what to do. My mind said, "Say hi!" but my mouth couldn't let the words come out. So, I just passed by him and hastened my walk in order to avoid him from following me. What a jerk I was!

Recess time came and I wanted to see him. Girls were all over him - wanted to see him, wanted to be with him, and wanted to talk to him. Girls! Girls of all sort! Girls who are fat, girls who are thin. Girls who are ugly, girls who are pretty. And where am I in the picture? There at the corner of the canteen, pretending not to notice but dying to be noticed.

With the knowledge of girls already wanting him, he had built his confidence in his self. He had concluded that indeed he was "somebody" and that encouraged him into courtship. He then courted his long-time crush and this broke my tender heart.

"Why is this thing happening to me?" was the question that always played in my mind. Why had I ever noticed him the way the other girls did? Why did the hate fade and had been replaced with love? Is this love? That's just absurd! I couldn't love him. But why do I feel so jealous and so insecure with myself every time I see them together? Blah blah blah. Plenty and plenty of questions! But what I felt at that time was so real. I regretted for doing him bad before and I hated myself for the feeling of loving him by then.

Fortunately, his crush didn't have any feelings for him. I was so happy! Maybe he will now come my way. But, he didn't. He went courting another girl instead. And that girl hurriedly made him as her boyfriend. She was just so flattered for it was the campus crush who paid her attention. "OK, well. That will not last," I was so bad again thinking this to myself.

Truly, it did not last and this made me hope again. Even my friends went up to him, insinuating of my feelings towards him. They were teasing us every time he comes near me. They were so supportive making childish pranks for us to be together. It was so exciting! I felt that it's gonna be it until one afternoon came that we bumped into him with another girl by his side.

Will there still be hope in this love story? Find out next week at maryrosalieo.blogspot.com!

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